you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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