Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
