That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
