I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
