what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
