if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
