I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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