We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
we're so committed to being not committed
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
