my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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