Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
