wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize