ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am puke
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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