Ambien. No doubt about it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
