508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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