sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize