Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
