Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
