There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
