Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
