did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
