I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize