Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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