Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
