Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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