You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
