I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
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I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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