roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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