every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize