M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Bring me that man meat
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
