Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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