he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
