Three words: puerto rican gang bang
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
