I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me