the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.