Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.