No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?