Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....

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  (518): OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX..... http://tfl.nu/r3kn
  Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (794)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Without porn, I would have few hobbies.

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  (308): Without porn, I would have few hobbies. http://tfl.nu/e9r7
  Replies (5) Good night (755) Bad night (1527)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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  (334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4
  Replies (12) Good night (1579) Bad night (4899)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.

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  (484): i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/ovq6
  Replies (55) Good night (865) Bad night (4422)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked

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  (770): I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked http://tfl.nu/iw27
  Replies (33) Good night (7504) Bad night (953)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.

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  (289): It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack. http://tfl.nu/6xg5
  Replies (21) Good night (901) Bad night (7289)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly

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  (859): i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly http://tfl.nu/pft1
  Replies (9) Good night (3057) Bad night (644)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me

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  (860): Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me http://tfl.nu/m9pd
  Replies (8) Good night (814) Bad night (595)
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  (916): View more from California

  It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.

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  (916): It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie. http://tfl.nu/mir1
  Replies (12) Good night (1715) Bad night (618)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?

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  (404): why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan? http://tfl.nu/xwc6
  Replies (6) Good night (1008) Bad night (436)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here

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  (859): Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here http://tfl.nu/0vaz
  Replies (9) Good night (611) Bad night (1369)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.

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  (615): I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/yrgk
  Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (393)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm romantic.

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  (306): I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones. (306): I'm romantic. http://tfl.nu/dair
  Replies (4) Good night (1476) Bad night (398)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.

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  (801): You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that. http://tfl.nu/if9w
  Replies (1) Good night (680) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.

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  (985): Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine. http://tfl.nu/rmj5
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (174)

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