super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.