OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.