She is in my trunk
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dating After Heartbreak
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law