I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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