so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.