true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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