I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
