Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
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It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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