We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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