you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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