Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize