I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
