Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
