I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize