once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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