Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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