What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
