with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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