I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
