That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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