Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize