I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
