I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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