I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
