it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
