please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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