and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
NoShamevember. You game?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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