i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
