In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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