This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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