just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
