I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
