Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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