apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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