Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
