So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
