I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
