before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize