and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
