i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
