I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
