Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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