an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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