The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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